The Goals of Guidance
-To protect children from harming themselves, others or property.
-To help children gain control and self-discipline.
-To help children develop the skills to solve their own problems.
-To help children develop independence and high self-esteem.
-To help children develop the skills to interact positively with others.
Influences on Children’s Behavior
Children’s behavior is influenced by many factors, from the time of day to the amount of sleep they had the night before, but some of the most significant things that impact on a child’s behavior are:
1) The adults who care for them;
2) Their age and stage of development;
3) Their environment and routines.
Positive Guidance
Child guidance will be positive in nature and will be viewed as part of the teaching process. Childcare professionals should understand that when using child guidance techniques, they are:
Teaching children social skills necessary for the children’s own happiness and group acceptance.
Working to create an atmosphere and environment conducive to learning.
Childcare professionals should attempt to prevent behavior problems by:
Reducing boredom by keeping children busy and interested.
Understanding the developmental level of the children in their care and not expecting accomplishments that are beyond the children’s capabilities.
Being clear and consistent in the limits they set.
Be sensitive to the feelings (their own and the children’s) underlying a problem situation.
Use “I” messages to clarify their own needs to the children.
Childcare providers will listen when children’s emotional needs are not being met (i.e., when a child is frustrated, angry, sad).
Providers will work at increasing children’s appropriate behavior by using three techniques:
Focus Time. Each child, each day, will have a caregiver’s focused, individual attention.
Positive Reinforcement. Rewarding desired behavior.
Effective Praise. Praise that is specific, immediate, and sincere.
Guidance Techniques
Despite your best efforts there will be occurrences of misbehavior - they are a very normal part of a child’s development. As we have discussed, positive child guidance requires the use of methods that guide rather than punish. Remember that the goal of discipline is to help children build their own self-control, not to have them behave through adult-imposed control. All of these techniques will be most effective if used in a way that maintains or enhances the child’s self-esteem.
Redirection
Infants and toddlers are usually fairly easy to distract. Giving a child something interesting to look at or to do will usually stop unwanted behavior. A child who is throwing blocks can be distracted by your sitting down on the floor with them to help them build a bridge or by giving them some rolled up socks to toss into a laundry basket.
Natural Consequences
Natural consequences require no intervention from you. A child will learn that his/her hands will become cold when he/she won’t wear mittens. Allowing children to experience the safe, natural consequences of their behavior helps them accept responsibility for their own comfort. (But keep the mittens handy in your own pocket for the moment the child makes the discovery.)
Logical consequences
Logical consequences are reasonable, related to the behavior and are arranged in advance. Make sure the consequence is fair and enforceable. Always follow through with the consequence or children will learn you do not mean what you say. "We only have enough juice boxes for everyone to have one. So you can drink yours now, but you will not have more for snack time. Or I can get you water now and you can save your juice until snack”.
Negotiation and Problem Solving
This technique works by involving the child in helping to solve the problem. With young children it is best to help give suggestions and guide the process but in time you will see older children use this process with little help from you. It involves several steps:
1. Help children identify the problem.
"Joel and Matt, I can see both of you want to play with the red car."
2. Encourage children to contribute ideas for solving the problem.
"What do you think we can do to solve this problem?"
3. Restate their ideas (and/or offer your own) in a positive way.
"We could put the car away or we could set the timer and let each of you have a turn."
4. Help children decide which idea they prefer.
"What do you think Joel, shall we let Matt have a 10 minute turn, then you can have a 10 minute turn.?"
5. Help the children carry out their solution.
"I’ll set the timer for 10 minutes and when it rings, I’ll help you pass it to Joel for his turn."
6. Reinforce the process when the problem is solved.
"What a good idea using the timer was to solve your problem. You boys did a great job taking turns with the car."
Time Out
Time Out is often one of the most overused techniques. It should be used as a calming technique, not as punishment. Time out provides the child with an opportunity to regain control. Have the child sit within sight, on a chair or step. Time out is kept short – 2 minutes for a 2 year old, 3 minutes for a 3 year old. When time is up, the child will be redirected to another activity or given the opportunity to try the same activity again.
Active Listening
Active Listening involves giving the child your full attention, helping the child to describe the situation and identify and express their own feelings, and acknowledging those feelings. Sometimes children just want us to know and accept that they are upset. Acknowledging the child’s feelings often reduces the power struggle you’re involved in.
Jamie: I want it! I want it!
Caregiver: Are you angry that you can’t have the toy yet?
Jamie: Yes! I want it now!
Caregiver: Do you feel disappointed you have to wait your turn?
Jamie: Yeah.
"I" Messages
"You" messages lay blame and often criticize the child. "I" messages describe how the behavior makes you feel and is often enough to stop unacceptable behavior. For example, instead of "You shouldn’t leave the puzzle on the table," try "I’d appreciate it if you’d put the puzzle back on the shelf"; or instead of "You cannot yell when we’re in the car," try "I have to concentrate when I’m driving, so we all have to speak in our quiet voices."
The Child’s Age and Stage of Development
Understanding what typical behavior is at different ages and stages of development will help to set acceptable limits and allow everyone to have reasonable expectations of children. Research indicates that there are universal, predictable sequences of growth and change that occur in children. They occur in all areas of development – physical, social, emotional and cognitive. Behavior such as messiness is normal at certain ages. It is a normal part of children’s growth and development.
Infants
No infant "acts up" on purpose. Infants often communicate their needs through crying. If an infant is hungry, tired, in pain or discomfort or just plain bored, their only way of telling us is through crying.
-- Infants need to explore. The way infants explore is through their senses. They need to see, feel, taste, hear and smell the world around them, so we need to give them safe opportunities to discover their world. At the same time, infants can be over-stimulated by too much noise, color or action. Sometimes some quiet time in the rocking chair with you provides a welcome relief.
Infants love to make messes, throw food, bang cups and may even "explore" others through pinching, biting and pulling hair.
It is also typical for infants to experience separation or stranger anxiety, so especially in the first weeks of care an infant will likely need to spend a lot of time in close contact with the caregiver to settle in. As well, the infant who is going through a stage where they are anxious around strangers will need additional attention when participating in playgroups or other activities.
Toddlers
Toddlers have learned many new skills such as walking, climbing and running but have no understanding of consequences. If they are not provided enough safe opportunities for them to practice these skills, they may well try unsafe ones.
Toddlers are made to move, and move they do! They are active and need an environment and routines that support their active, busy nature.
Toddlers are experiencing a greater range of feelings, but do not yet have the language to express those feelings.
Sharing and taking turns is not a concept that comes easily to toddlers. They have no sense of time - to them five minutes may seem like a lifetime.
Toddlers are developing a sense of control, thus the popularity of the words "no" and "mine" with this age group.
Toddlers are also developing a sense of independence, wanting to do things themselves, even before they have all the necessary skills. Once a toddler has acquired a new skill, they will want to repeat it again and again and again.
Preschoolers
Preschoolers are becoming somewhat more interested in pleasing those around them but they can often forget what the rules are.
Preschoolers are always curious, asking everyone questions about everything.
While preschoolers do not like to be hurried, time is still a difficult concept at this stage and they do not like to have to wait for snack or their turn.
Preschoolers are testing their assertiveness muscles and may tend to be bossy.
Very imaginative, preschoolers often mix fact and fiction and love to engage in bathroom talk.
School-Agers:
School-agers are experiencing many new challenges fitting into the larger, less-sheltered work of the schoolyard. It is a time when they may be experiencing many fears and uncertainties that they can’t understand or express. Often these fears show themselves as frustration or anger.
School-agers may well feel that they are old enough to make their own decisions, even in areas that call for more judgement than they have.
School-agers are very influenced by their peers and will bring home all kinds of new and different behavior challenges.